January 30, 2012

I’m pretty frustrated. I don’t know if there is a better word to sum up how I’ve been feeling lately. It’s almost like a depression. When I get like this I’m not motivated to work or create. I just sit on my couch, laptop in lap, and just think about how frustrated I am. I’m angry, I’m crabby, I’m a bitch to be around. Just being like this pisses me off.

I’m tired of the misconception that as a creative we’re always so inspiring and that we vomit rainbows onto anything we do. No, not really. We have our creative blocks, we have our soul-sucking projects, and we have days where we just kind of want to wear black all day and listen to The Cure.

I want to say that 95% of my frustration is coming from work. I can’t really say much but the culture there is just not it for me. I’ve tried the last couple of weeks to put my feelings aside and go with the flow but there is no current. I can’t be passionate about something that holds no interest or value to me. I just can’t. I’m a very emotional person and this just really, really, puts me in a rut.

The other remaining 5% is just miscellaneous crap that sets me off. For example, had panko breaded chicken for dinner and it smells like the oil it was fried in. This is enough for me to go on a rampage and start screaming at my boyfriend for not washing the dishes.

That reminds me, I need to do that now.